i've just read some of my older post(last year) in this blog, those 200+ post at the old blog can be spared, i didnt actually knew i hate life that much, until i looked back those posts that can actually make me cry now, even though i've already kicked that habit of crying over more or less nothing, i think its still there just somewhere else. hiding away. haha how funny i were, really. maybe its because of the stupid spam tags which i shall not mention at all, but something got me thinking, am i still the same person i were back then? the fact that i was living in self denial all the time is exposed by me. it takes me alot to admit this, it really did. all the times that i was being so overly protective of 2rp and stuffs, it was so dumb because we were never united neither were we ever closed, its never a class thing, maybe its a group thing, but never once was it a class. describing the class this way may not seem right, but honestly, my primary school class is even more united than 2rp.take that pathetic class gathering as an example. i know when i look back again half a year later, i'll be posting about the same thing once again but i cant stop myself from typing this whole load of crap shit.
even worst, i think theres some confession i need to make, cause i told * about # so it'll only be fair that i tell them about # too, i'll try my best but it took me quite long the other time, remember? when i couldnt say it and i did it by sms. its okay i know you guys dont read this anymore but who cares. all of us did changed right? no matter how hard we try its not the same anymore. i'm not whining i'm just,well saying its not anyone's fault and maybe its my fault. well i dont know, okay i know. i just dont wanna say it out, i'm still living in self denial. well partly.
reading back to this year's post i realise how much i missed ponning guides all tgt and stupid times when we all rush back home to maple and scold people in aquila. now everything is different, we dont have a cca to pon tgt anymore, and we switch back to bootes in maple. i'm not saying it is bad now but sometimes i just miss those times when we're crazy nuts. just that everything is changing and now i'm starting to blog with smaller fonts.
hey you if you're reading this, yes you. do me a favor and not read those archive.
on a lighter note, i discover that it didnt just began, its been there since last year, maybe even earlier than i know. but then i also i think that it will be better if i didnt found out about it, because now i really feel inside out. maybe this isnt that light at all, cause whatever i do, i feel like a fool whenever it comes to you.
